Tuesday, March 25, 2014

How friendship can Influence Behavior


bandillagiselle.blogspot.com


HOW FRIENDSHIP CAN INFLUENCE BEHAVIOR
A Research Paper Presented to
The Faculty of English Resource Center
School of Multimedia Arts
Asia Pacific College
Magallanes, Makati




In Partial Fulfillment
of the requirements for the Course
Research Writing












Giselle M. Bandilla
April 2014


CHAPTER 1
INTRODUCTION
A.  Background of the study
Friendship is considered an important part of life. Scientists and researchers alike have agreed that friendship provides an individual with multiple physical, emotional, and psychological benefits. Apart from those benefits, friends also provide an individual with a support structure that allows him to cope with different challenges in life.

Maria Popova wrote an article about the nature of friendship called, "The Science and Philosophy of Friendship: Lessons from Aristotle on the Art of Connecting." In this article she discussed the ideas of the philosopher Plato regarding the many benefits of having a real friend, including the fact that friends allow us to discover ourselves.

She says, “Friends hold a mirror up to each other; through that mirror they can see each other in ways that would not otherwise be accessible to them, and it is this mirroring that helps them improve themselves as persons” (http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/09/19/aristotle-friendship/).

 Friendship provide multiple benefits. In reality we all know that people are not perfect. Some people are always has a positive mind but some aren’t. Friendship with positive people has some benefits in your life. A friend is who should be there for you, treat you, accept you, love you and always understand you. Also, it will help you be the best and amazing creatures you can be in this earth.

Cherie Burbach wrote an article about benefit of friendship entitled, “Benefits Of Positive Friends: Ways That Upbeat People Can Add Good Things to Your Life” In this article she discussed that having friends in your life has a health benefit. It can increase life span, lower rate of depression, and many more. Friendship can enrich one’s life and improve healthier mind and body.

She says, “Positive individuals want others to be happy, and will go out of their way to help you when you're feeling down or need some extra special attention and positive friends will not only help you rebound from the negative hits you take in life, but they will also inspire you to be the best you can be” (http://friendship.about.com/od/Benefits_of_Friendship/a/Benefits-Of-Positive-Friends.htm).

One of the benefits of having a friendship is that you have a companion in life. It’s happy when you have a friend always at your side even at your sorrowful days. They never lever you alone and try to cheer you up. They also like a second family treating one another like sisters or brother. Life will be complete with friend around you.

B Thrifty wrote an article about benefit of friendship entitled, “Love and Friendship” In this article she discussed that true friendship blend with love, loyalty, respect and understanding. He said that different people have a different meaning of friendship by their perspective in life. And a friend has a priceless treasure.

He says, “Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person. It is when you do not have to weigh your thoughts and measure words, before keeping it forth before your friend. It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assures to be your side in every emotional crisis" (http://b-thrifty.com/virginia/love-and-friedship-meaning/).

Also Friendship can bring out the best in you. In friendship, you can develop your personalities and skill. It can motivate when you’re with your friends because you know in yourself that they can inspire you to do better. Through friendship it is a big help to be a better person in your life.

Carlin Flora wrote an article about benefit of friendship entitled, “How Friendship Makes You More Successful.” In this article she discussed how her friend change her life and became successful in life with the help of friends around.  Friends can lead you to a way that increase your success in your life.

She says, “If you truly want to change some aspect of your life, developing friendships with people who aspire to the same goals as you do" (http://ideas.time.com/2013/01/16/how-friendship-makes-you-more-successful//).

Friends are important and they provide a lot of benefits. However, one problem is that some people have difficulty finding friends. Some people are shy and find it difficult to introduce themselves or assert themselves in a way that could increase their chances of having friends.

Paul Sanders wrote an article about friendship entitled, “Why It’s Hard to Make Friends, and What to Do About It” This article tackle the main reason why people find it hard to make new friends and he stated the reason why. He stated many reason but this are they few. First, You think people already in a closed group of friend. Second, You learned that friends can be disappointing. And many more reason why.

He says, “Making friends can be hard because of one’s lack of social skills, because our society is generally making us more isolated, because of our modern busy lifestyles, or because we no longer have a context for meeting people like we did in college or high school” (http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/why-its-hard-make-friends-and-what-about.html).

The researcher observes that most people who have trouble making friends share similar characteristics such as shyness, a lack of social skills, and some confidence issues. The researcher also observes how those who are successful at making friends share similar characteristics. The researcher believes that learning which personal traits lead to gaining more friends would solve the difficulties a person may encounter when trying to make friends with other people.

The information provided in this paper is important because knowing what personal traits people with a lot of friends have will help the reader develop more friendships in his personal life. Furthermore, having knowledge about these traits will encourage the reader to develop them in himself.

The purpose of this paper is to explain what personal traits allow people to have the most friends.

B. Statement of the Problem
This study aims to answer this question:

1. What personal traits allow people to have the most friends?

C. Significance of the Study

High School and College Students. This research paper would be able to help them know that friendship can influence through behavior. So that, in their school life they will never have a hard time to make friends with others. The researchers hope that giving more emphasis to friendship make interested to make new friends and explore their life with people around them. All of us have a friendship. Knowledge of this research paper would help to open their mind to people who have some behavior.

Business People. Business people classified as rich people. Rich people like politics, celebrities and business families would benefit from this study because they would be able to know and appreciate friendship. Not only with their same status in life but also other people around them. To open their mind that all of us are equal so that rich people would be interested to make some new friends.

Lonely People. This study would help lonely people to understand and open their mind for friendship. It is believed that this research would be able to make a good beginning for lonely people to make new friends and have a prismatic world not like there earlier life. And make a way to find a friend who have their same traits or qualities.

Future Researcher.  The proposed study will benefits and help the future researcher as their guide. They can also open their mind in development of this study. Friendship can influence person through their behavior and the researchers surely believe that if future studies would be made soon, there might have improvement and changing that how friendship can influence behavior.

D. Scope and Limitation
 This study focuses on how friendship influence person. The researcher formulated the scope and limitation of this project to know what is the trait is most common to have a friends. This is to emphasis the influence of behavior in friendship. Moreover, how people prefer being friends with people from their same social status and common interest.

 This study will not cover the other subject of friendship such as how friendship develops, how people select friends and interpretation the value of  friendship.

E. Materials and Method
   This research uses an online article since the researcher aim to discuss how friendship influence behavior which is topic is all about friendship. The researcher made a blog about the topic. The blog have a different type of topic like psychology, science, arts, methodology and sociology so that the researcher’s extend the mind for the topic. Information relevant to the study was gathered from an article from online sources.



CHAPTER 2
DISCUSSION

1.      What personal traits allow people to have the most friends?

I. Definition of friendship 
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. It is a relationship that people built with trust, loyalty and understanding. Friendship is the most precious thing that everyone has to this world. In fact, we can't prevent that we are all equal in this earth as we all know that we have each other different characteristic and personalities. In this case, we all have our own uniqueness. 

Friendship is the most precious thing in our lives. In this research show how can manage a friendship even it can influence one's behavior. Behavior is the most problem of the friendship. But if you truly love your friends you can accept whatever problem of that person. Negative behavior aim to make your friendship ruin but it can make do thing to support the negative behavior in your friendship. Positive behavior can help other to open their mind and their feelings to stay happy and have a prismatic world. However, friendship had a different type of it. It have a term to describe the various type of friendship. This research show that people have a friendship with their same status in life and because they have their common interest.

The important part of lives of the most of the people is friendship. People easier to maintain friendship because they have common interest. They know how will make you happy whenever you sad. They know when you cheer up if you are silently sad. They treated you like sisters and brothers. That's why they are the most important part of our live. Because they can sustain beyond our family. They can tell problem that you can't tell to your family. In fact, friends have the most of the time to spent with rather than to your family.

I found an article entitle "Friends and Friendship" by Dr. Bill Denton. Everybody don't like to be alone. No one can live without need's of other and with the companion with others. We always need someone, a friend. No matter what you say, you'll need others and their companion. Friends can provide us happiness. Life will be so dull if no one around you. right? In friendship you can learn everything. Love your friends as you love yourself. Don't underestimate friendship, try to learn new things from new people. Don't be scared to socialize with other people. Show them who you are and not what you have. In that case you will learn the true meaning of friendship. 

According to Dr. Bill Denton "Friendship is a blessing, and a friend is the channel through whom great emotional, spiritual, and sometimes even physical blessings flow”. (http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200303/20030301_friends.html)



II. Why Friendship Fail
A. Lack of Time
This is the most problem why friendship even all relationship fail. Some people loses their time to other people so that they don't have enough time to make a social communication. Social communication is the most ingredient of any relationship especially in friendship, Time can develop one's relationship because time can repair on problem or issues involve in your relationship. Constant togetherness develops love, this quote proved that all relationship need a time to each other. Time to need to talk, to make laugh, to make joke, to make silly things, to share problems and many more. Most of friendship fail, it is because they haven't enough time to know each other. Sometimes, people take for granted other people because they though they have a less value to other people.

Geeta Dhavela  wrote an article entitled “Lack of Communication in Relationships”. In this article tells that time is the most important thing to work a relationship. If no time in relationship there also no communication inside the relationship. Also, in friendship it can affect if people never surrender their time to make it. It will affect his personal, professional and social life.

She says, “ Today, in our daily hectic schedule, we forget to pay attention to the needs of our loved ones. We are so engaged in our daily chores, that we start taking our relationships for granted. It makes the bond of relationship weaker by creating dubiety, doubts, and disrespect. It is better to discuss and sort out your problems in any relationship, instead of living in ambiguity and suspicion.” (http://www.buzzle.com/articles/lack-of-communication-in-relationships.html)

Lack of time can ruin a friendship. All relationship needs it because time can give us memories and bonding moment to our loved ones.  Friendship Fail because of this, lack of communication like lacking yourself to other people.

B. Lack of Emotional Capital
Friendship fail because of lack of Emotional Capital.  It's about caring, loving, and understanding. If you don't have that, it say that you have a lack of emotional capital of friendship. Emotional Capital influential with mood, temperature, feeling, and personality of one person. Meaning,  cracking of relationship because you are moody, you get angry easily and they don't want your personalities. In this situation, having that problem can cause a friendship deep in the ground. Because it built with love, trust and understanding; must understand why people is like this, like that and like anything. Understand why is that girl is so emotional over little things around her and etc. Example scenerio of this problem: if your friend is crying and you never comfort her. It's like you never care, she will get hurt because the way you treated her is not what she thinks of you.

Felix Reed-Tsochas wrote an article about friendship entitled “Science May Explain Why Your Friendships Fall Apart”. In this article, one of the reasons why friendships fall apart is because of Lack of Emotional Capital. It defined as strong social requires in a relationship.

He says, “the fact that a strong social relationship requires considerable emotional investment, and our stock of emotional capital is finite.” (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/felix-reedtsochas/social-signature-friends_b_4590203.html)

C. Cognitive Limitation
Cognitive limitation is about our brain and social communities. In friendship, sulking and jealousy is a normal thing but sometimes people have a big pride. In that case, people can break down there friendship because they don't like to lose their pride and never accept the truth. It's about pride that can ruin one relationship. If you are in a relationship you try to understand them instead of hurting them. Example of this problem: you hurt your friend but you never admit the mistake you've done, so that it will start the fight for the  both side then will snob all the time. The greatest thing to end up that fight is forgiveness and understanding. And must admit you mistake because if you are true friends no matter what happen you can easily forgive other people especially the one you really love the most.

Hara Marano wrote an article entitled “The Danger of Loneliness”.  In this article, the author tells us that being lonely can effect our body and brain that can be have a expose  to the stress hormones. In friendship it can affect the loneliness in the relationship because  it can bring the emotional discomfort.  It make people sad so that they will not have time to make friend or stay with friends because they are lonely inside.

The author says, “This cognitive awareness plays through our brain with an emotional soundtrack. It makes us sad. We might feel an emptiness. We may be filled with a longing for contact. We feel isolated, distanced from others, deprived. These feelings tear away at our emotional well-being.” (http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200308/the-dangers-loneliness)

III. Why Friendship Succeed
A. Have time
Friendship takes time. Time to know each other, to give more bonding, to listen to the complain or sadness, to accept each other, to understand, to care and to be there whenever they need you. It's the most ingredient of one's relationship because having time to other people means they are so important to them. Example, you have a busy schedule if you give time to your friends they really appreciate it because even your mind is pressure doing something they think they are more important that in what doing.

Spending time to your friends is the happiest moment of your life. Time really work the friendship of one's person. You can talk to them or ask them how's their day. If they need you because they have a problem, listening to them is the best way to make them feel more comfortable. Make time to your friends to make your relationship stronger because being together develops love and understanding. Even in good times or bad just treasure the moment always with your friends. Even you're busy, just keep in touch to your friend. It can help them even you text them only, they will really appreciate it.

Fact Sheet wrote an article entitled “ What Makes A Good Friend?” In this article, the author state the sign of a good friend. Some signs are someone who company you enjoy, who will support you no matter what and who is there to listen. To sum up, signs of having a good friend is have time to one’s relationship. 

He says, “It’s good for your happiness to be a great friend to someone and to have a group of good friends supporting you. But it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a good friend.” (http://au.reachout.com/What-makes-a-good-friend) 

B. Common Interest
Reconcile common interest, hobbies and all things can make a friendship stronger. In this case, they will talk you longer because you have all in common. They will do same thing, you both like playing badminton and playing computer. You and your friend both have same likes to a guy or a girl, so that you have a long conversation and never get bore. Both of you want a same genre of music, if you have new song you can easily share to your friends. Having common interest with your friends can make your relationship challenging and more meaning because you bear with all things with friend.

Alex Lickerman wrote an article entitled “The True Meaning of Friendship”. This article states that having a common interest between friends can make relationship stronger. It will have many time spending together because they have common interest to talk to.

He says, “This probably ties us closer to our friends than many would like to admit. When our interests diverge and we can find nothing to enjoy jointly, time spent together tends to rapidly diminish. Not that we can't still care deeply about friends with whom we no longer share common interests, but it's probably uncommon for such friends to interact on a regular basis.” (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201312/the-true-meaning-friendship)

C. Common Values
You can find friends with your common value so yourself compromise to each other. Some friends have your same values that why you are friends with them. Having a common values to make friends is easy because you see yourself to other people with your same values in life. You make yourself comfortable with the person because you know you have the same values.

I read an article entitled " The Science and Philosophy of Friendship: Lesson from Aristotle on the Art of Connecting" by Maria Popova. In this article, Aristotle give lesson that defined friendship in other matters. He stated the classification of friendship in three categories. First, friendship in pleasure, it is the direct pleasure brings in friendship. Second, friendship in utility, which you can gain benefit in a relationship. And last, friendship is virtue, it is the highest kind of friendship and you become a friends because of his virtue. We value friendship for social dimension and bring happiness in our entire life. He also stated in this article that friendship is such an instrument to our live to make it enrich.

According to some Scientist and Philosopher in this article that "friendship is an essential ingredient of human happiness". (http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/09/19/aristotle-friendship/)

IV. Trait that People with Many Friends Have
A. Being Friendly
Friendly person have many friends. There are people who blessed to have a friendly personality; however, sometimes there are people who is not. Being friendly can build a friendship and a good relationship. If you have that personalities, it makes you a confident to talk and talk to other people so that you can easily have friends around you. This is a personality that everyone interested and enjoying it. And it like you giving an effort to build and make some friendship to people you not know.

B. Honesty
Being honest to your friend is so challenging but it is important in your relationship. It's better to say the truth than to make lie to your friends. But in many case, honesty to your friends can be bad but it depends on the people how they accept your honest. Honesty can help to strengthen relationship. You may not notice but it has a big factor to your friendship. Being honest to someone is a great trait that people has because some people can deny.

C. Good listener
Your friend is your companion whenever you are happy even in sad time. One trait that people with many friends is a good listener. Because when their friend need a companion, they will always listen to their friend even they have a busy schedule. Some people need a friend that can usually tell if they are happy, sad, upset, angry and excited. You must aware how the feelings of your friend to know how you can manage your friends mood. Being a good listener to your friends can make more comfortable with the both of you.

Denise Restauri wrote an article entitled “5 Qualities of Charismatic People. How Many Do You Have?” In this article she states the qualities above. Those qualities are powerful and charismatic to people around you. To have those qualities can make you many friends.

She says, “Everyone can be charismatic. We are not born charismatic – we cultivate it in many ways. One way is by observing and learning from people who you think are charismatic. You don’t need to copy them, but learn their secrets, try them on and fine-tune them until they fit you. It’s a trial and error process. Bad news is that once you have your charismatic status, you can lose it” (http://www.forbes.com/sites/deniserestauri/2012/05/03/5-qualities-of-charismatic-people-how-many-do-you-have/)

Having positive personalities can make you many friends in your life. They will accept you just being as you are. People will understand for being you and people will love for being as you are. The most important in friendship is these qualities. It can make a friendship stronger and united always.

V. Trait that People with Few Friends Have
A. Same Behavior
Some people want to be friends because they need something. In life you can’t live without people around you and the needs from the other people. Some people stick to a person when they need something but later on they will take you for granted just because they get the thing that they want. It’s a sign that is a false friend. They are unsupportive, up to no good and unreliable. It’s hard when you have a toxic friends in your life. But you must be a good friend to others it is the one of the quality of friendship.  Just balance and nice to a false friend.

Rich people build a relationship with rich people. Rich people like a friendship with their same status in life. They don’t think about people with low class because they have confident that rich people is always with rich people. Sometime, rich people always think they are destined with rich people in the society. But some rich people appreciate other people but some are don’t. They thought that they are high so that they always underestimate some people below them. They think that other people are gold digger and user so they are too scared to make friends with them. Money can’t buy us happiness and friends even money is important in our lives. Friends can’t buy through money, it’s all about attitude, personalities and perspective in live to build friends and last forever.


Rick Nauert wrote an article entitled “Friends Tend to Get a Pass on Their Behavior”. This article tells that people judge easily other people regardless on their performance and in their behavioral traits. It is why people lost friends because they judges other’s behavior.

He says, “we should then think twice before allowing people who know each other to be in positions to judge each other “ (http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/10/10/friends-tend-to-get-a-pass-on-their-behavior/60549.html)

B. Shyness
Shy people don’t have enough friends because they not expose their self to other people. In friendship it started with a conversation. Having friends must have a communication. Shy people don’t have enough confident to make any friends at all because they are scared to make friends with other. Shy people must try to face their weaknesses. Shy people underestimate themselves. They are losing there confident for other people. They close their mind for friendship because they don’t have any confident in their self to build relationship to other. Sometimes, they will think that they will never treasure or underestimate them. They scared for frustration and rejection. Life is full of challenge, must face your fear. One of the famous line of Filipino “walang mangyayari ang taong mahiyain”. Friendship is the best relationship in our life. Don’t  waste some time from your life because of  that behavior.

Adam Dachis wrote an article entitled “Being Shy Is Just a Bad Habit, and You Can Break It With Regular Practice” This article shows that shyness is a bad habit to people especially having relationship to other people. They losing their confident to make a relation to other people because they are scared for the risk of rejection from other people.

He says, “Most shy people wish they were more confident, because shyness is ultimately a symptom of you being uncomfortable with who you are. You judge yourself based on other people's standards and spend too much time in your own head, thinking of how best to act and react in any given situation. This is nothing more than a bad habit, and it's the sort of thing you can break with regular practice.” (http://lifehacker.com/5909696/being-shy-is-just-a-bad-habit-and-you-can-break-it-with-regular-practice)

C. Personality
Everyone has own personality in life. Some people are too talkative, too pushy to other things and others. Sometimes people don't want that personality so that they will avoid to make friends with them. But there are people even though they don't want those personality they suffer to make friends with them, they feel empathy because those people don't have friends. Sometimes, people with a negative personalities never aware about himself because they just show their true colors. Like what I've said, sometimes people underestimate people with negative personalities. It's illusion of one's person, they never try to make friends because in their mind they have a negative attitude. Having hard time to make friendship because of negative personalities is one of the most problem of friendship. It's up to you if you accept and to bear with.

 Raj Raghunathan wrote an article entitled “Dealing with Negative People”. This article states that people with negative personalities is hard to deal with.  In relationship, it can ruin because no one can understand each other personalities. The fear of most negative people is judgmentalism it has a tendency to motivate negatively 

He says, “It can be excruciatingly difficult to deal with negative people—people who bring your mood down with their pessimism, anxiety, and general sense of distrust. Imagine being constantly discouraged from pursuing your dreams because “very few people make it big” “. (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sapient-nature/201303/dealing-negative-people)

D. Psychological Issue
People don't want to have friends because they have a history establishing friends. Some people with this problem, scared to know who is really she/he. In friendship, you need to communicate to your friends. So, you need to talk about your life, in this case people have this problem don't want to discuss about their life. Because sometimes they are scared to share their life to other people because they lead to their mind that people never accept who is really she/he. You're not comfortable to other people because you think they will judge and reject you.

Eleanor Shakiba wrote an article entitled, "Handling sulking behavior" by Eleanor Shakiba. People in sulking behavior, is the one who is emotionally abuse. Who don't communicate to others and stay silent. One reason of sulking is if they don't get what they what. Some people become angry and irritated in other things to get some attention. She also stated in her article that when you are in sulking, you never communicate honestly and always have a complain. So she stated the four steps how to deal with people who sulks: First, describe what you see or hear so that you can make evidence for that person's tactics; Second, Bring the convert message into the open for they express what they want to say; Third, Set a clear boundary; and Lastly, Re frame their toxic behavior to bring out their positive thoughts.

She says, “people pretend that they are suffering in silence, but really, they have every intention of expressing their anger". (http://www.difficultpeoplemadeeasy.com.au/problembehaviours/passiveaggressive/sulkingbehaviour.html)

VI. Conclusion
Don't lose your friends. Many people will come and go in your life but it doesn't mean that you will never appreciate other people because you think that they will only leave you. Friendship is the most blessed things that people have. As soon as possible, treasure them in your life and they will be part of your life. Even you're pressure doing anything or you're so busy always keep in touch to your friends. Be responsible that you have friends, that they know you are always here for them and always here to guide them. Just give them a proper attention so that they never think that they are taken for granted. Some people need a companion in life, they want you because they need you and because you've been in there life.

Gain more friends. In life, no man is an island. Not even you have already friends in your life you will stop searching for another. It's fun to make many friends around you. They will teach you new things, can help you in many ways, many party and many happy moments. Try to socialize and open yourself to other people. Gain many friends to make your life prismatic. Having many friends in your life can make your life stronger and happier because they are the ones can make a better you.

Avoid negative personality traits. In this research, the researchers found that people with less friend have a negative personality trait. If you want to have a friendship with more friend, avoid the negative personality you have in your life. You can prevent it and make new things in your life. Make socialize and delete the negative traits that people don’t want from you. Being honest or true to one person is the best to have many friends. Try to make them understand who you are and what you are and just avoid and prevent things that make you look like a negative people.

Develop positive personality traits. To avoid the negative personality you have, you must develop the positive trait. In a way can change your personality with a personality you see with people who have many friends. It’s easy to avoid the negative personality and it easy to develop positive personality. It depends on you if how it is. But you can learn it to other people. Just put in your mind that having friend needs a personality that can make you friendship stronger.

Friendship can influence behavior. In a way that you are friendly with other and other people look you up as you are. In mood, it is the positive effect that you must feel happy and energize so it have chance that friendship can influence your mind and body. You can change the behavior of one person, inspire and encourage them to take away the negative behavior they have in their life. In friendship, you must spend time with it and know them. It can influence behavior because some people want their friends must there same status in life. Some people whom are shy people get not friends because they don't have enough confident to their self to make friends with other. Poor people scared to make friends with there above level because they think they are not level in this world. We all created equal, it's about the people if we are influence by their behavior to have friends.


CHAPTER 3
SUMMARY, CONCLUSIONS
AND RECOMMENDATIONS
SUMMARY
This paper attempted to determine how friendship can influence behavior. The research findings are the following:
1. Friendship is considered an important part of our life.
2.  Friendship built with common interest, love, trust and understanding.
3.  People with few friends have a negative personalities.
4. People with more friends have a positive personalities.

CONCLUSIONS
Based on the findings of this study, the following conclusions are drawn:
1. Friendship can influence one's behavior.
2. Some people have a hard time to find friends.
3. Having friendship is not easy you must have a nice personalities to have friends.
4. Friendship may fall apart because of having a Lack of time.

RECOMMENDATIONS
After drawing the conclusions of the study, the researcher hereby make the following suggestions/ recommendations.
1. Develop positive personality trait to make many friends. In that case, you can accept people around you.
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2. Find friends with your common interest, in that case you will have fun to make friends with. People have a common interest can make easily have friends.
3. Gain more friends and don't lose friends.
4. Avoid negative personalities to gain more friends.


REFERENCE:
A. Electronic Media
Tsochas, Felix R. (January 1, 2014 ). Science May Explain Why Your Friendships Fall Apart.  Retrieved from April 19, 2014 from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/felix-reedtsochas/social-signature-friends_b_4590203.html

Levine, Irene. (April 7, 2011). Why would someone have no friends?. Retrieved from April 19, 2014 from http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/why-would-someone-have-no-friends/

Barker, Eric. (March 14, 2014 ) .  How To Make Friends Easily And Strengthen The Friendships You Have. Retrieved from April 21, 2014 from http://time.com/24122/how-to-make-friends-easily-and-strengthen-the-friendships-you-have/

Barker, Eric. (September 29, 2012). 5 ways to strengthen your friendships. Retrieved from April 19, 2014 from http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/09/5-ways-to-strengthen-your-friendships/

Samadder, Rhik. ( Januart 11, 2014). Five ways to make friends. Retrieved from April 20, 2014 from http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/jan/11/five-ways-make-friends-do-something-social
MacLeod , Chris. ( 2014 ). How To Be More Friendly And Social. Retrieved from April 21, 2014
http://www.succeedsocially.com/friendly

Haden, Jeff ( October 2013 ).10 Habits of Remarkably Charismatic People. Retrieved from April 21, 2014 from http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/10-habits-of-remarkably-charismatic-people.html




Monday, February 17, 2014

Blogspot8: Psychology behind Sulking

 Sulking is to be angry or upset about something and to refuse to discuss it with other people. Sulking as I know it's our English term of "nagtatampo". I don't know what is the reason why people sulking. Sometimes we feel sulk to people who take us granted. In my side, i feel sulk when people don't have time for me. But sometimes it's another way of saying you want to have of tenderness or sweetness of others. We can do it in our family, friends and in a relationship. Oftentimes, we sulk for no reason because we want to have attention of others. Earlier, I ask myself if there's a behavior connecting sulking. When I'm in the mood of sulking, I try to be silenced and never talk and socialize to other people. I can do sulking in my friends and my family, i feel so special whenever they give me affection to have a fondness. I love my friends and family but sometimes there are time that we experience to feel sulking to each other and i don't why. So, this is my research topic to know extra knowledge in sulking.




I found an article entitled "Handling sulking behavior" by Eleanor Shakiba. People in sulking behavior, is the one who is emotionally abuse. Who don't communicate to others and stay silent. One reason of sulking is if they don't get what they what. Some people become angry and irritated in other things to get some attention. She also stated in her article that when you are in sulking, you never communicate honestly and always have a complain. So she stated the four steps how to deal with people who sulks: First, describe what you see or hear so that you can make evidence for that person's tactics; Second, Bring the convert message into the open for they express what they want to say; Third, Set a clear boundary; and Lastly, Re frame their toxic behavior to bring out their positive thoughts.


According to People Skill Expert Eleanor Shakiba "people pretend that they are suffering in silence, but really, they have every intention of expressing their anger". When people in sulks, they are in silence. Sometimes people don't have any reason to become silence in a while. People who sulks need only attention and tenderness of others. Like me, when I'm in that stage I prefer to stay silence for everyone. It's like saying I'm not in the mood of having fun because I'm anger for the people around me. I don't know why I'm like this, but there are times i feel always sulk to other people.



 I read an article entitled "The Sulking Man Syndrome" by Susanne Moore. Curiosity kills so Susanne tried to research about man sulking. It is a behavior that man have when they are little boys like their mother treating them as son like God. She stated that man is sulking because they want loved by others. Boys taught they can do no wrong in their life, that they cannot be criticized by others and always appreciate for just being. They sulking because they want to treat like what their mother treated them when they we're young boys. Avoid sulking is to feel your partner to not being alone and loved them unconditionally as they love you.


According to Susanne Moore "you want to be loved and listened to, you want to be near and dear to your partner so you ask him to treat you in ways that are good for you, or you ask him not to do something that upsets you and then all hell break loose". Man is like simple girls. They only want love and to be loved by the people around them. They want a people to listened to them and always take care of there even in their downfall problem. Man sulking because sometime they feel alone in there life. Some, because they used to treat like what mother did when they are little boys. Just always feel them that he always special in your life.




In my research about Sulking, it is a passive aggressive behavior of one people. Everyone can pass this stage to have sulking. Psychologist stated some reason of sulking: feeling ignored, ashamed and embarrassed. I think, you just accept when people is sulking on you. He/She want to give only your attention so that he/she feel to make special. It is difficult to deal people with sulking behavior. Just find your place to make you small part of the world as possible.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Blogspot7: Family vs Friends




The love of my glamorous family is my life greatest blessing. And also my friends, too. I'm so glad to have my family and my friends in my life today. I can't imagine how my life is without them.They we're so important to me. There are problem with family vs friends. Because sometimes there are people who truly loves there friends more than there family. Why? I think because they have broken family, his family didn't make attention, there parents' is so busy for there profession and any other possible problem. Sometimes, i can't balance my time for my family and my friends but it's not a reason to have a unequal love for them. Even though sometimes i mostly have time for my friends it doesn't mean i don't love my family. I love both of them as soon as possible I can have time to each of everyone so ever body happy.




I read an article entitled "Family and Friends are the Best Medicine" by Maia Szalavits and Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD. This article is too short but they are in gist of their main idea. They only want to share that are friends and our lovely family is our best medicine, a way to reduce our stress in our life and there our life relaxation.  Because we can stock stress to our family and they light up, too. As we grow older we can have a social life to stress relieve from our friends and some comfort from our parents.

According to Maia Szalavits and Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD "between human contact and stress relief is so primal, it's not surprising that supportive friends and family have so many health benefits". I think I'm so healthy because I have my friends and my family here in my side. For there moral support during my hardest decision, they we're my stress reliever. They seemingly irreplaceable in my life. Even though they are busy enough for there own business, whenever I need them they never fail me to make my self down. They are the best medicine in my eternal life.





 I found an article entitled "Family and Friends OR Friends vs Family?" by Paula. She stated about family and friends. How family have a strong bond to each other. Families are extremely tight and bonded for life, there are many reason, explanation and causes. She and hopefully me agreed that no perfection appear anywhere in a family. Our parents give us guidance, protection, lessons and caring love to have a decent and peaceful life. In sibling, it's our first friends and first playmates. We share our thought and happiness to our sibling. And that can grow to become integral in our life.About Friends, friends are like family. They are loyal and dedicated to an individual. As of that, her number one question is "Which is more important, Family or Friends?". She stated that her some friends answered friends is more important. But family and friends, are easily be an equal important to all of us. That we must be grateful to have there in our life, no matter how they touched our hearts.


According to Paula "there is no comparison, no contest.. they firmly embrace over the other. We can speculate on this, forever. The picture of possibilities is clear".Yes, no comparison and even contest for both side. We must not compare our family to our friends, we need to treasure them both and never fail one of them. There are possible to have a clear to her question, family and friends are equally stated in our life. Family can be our friends and friends could be our family. For me, no doubt i love all of them and no wall for my family and my friends. We must don't have advantage to each side, we must love them equally.


In this blog, I realized how much my life is so blessed to have my friends and especially my family. I don't want a competition on either side. I just want them in my life, no cure in my sadness if they're not here in my side. I feel so special that i have them, i don't have any reason to have them in my life. Lets agree that family and friends are the most precious thing in our life.

Family vs Friends? No, family and friends rather.

Blogspot6: Mythology Alliance

The term mythology refer to a collection of myth. Myth is a traditional stories and it's not true but many people believe it. I studied Greek Mythology way back on my fourth year high school. But I don't really have no idea about friendship from mythology. Because when someone say mythology, first thing came in my mind is always Aphrodite goddess of love and beauty. So i turn out to take my topic friendship in mythology so that i can learn something from reading some article about it.



I found an article entitled "Damon and Pythias" by N.S. Gill. This article tells the true friendship of the two young philosopher Damon and Pythias. In 20th century, the two young philosophers ran into trouble and went into a prison. Dionysius, a sadistic man, gave them a death penalty. But before they will lose their life. One of the young philosopher, ask to to return home first and to see his family so he pledge to return before the time appointed. While the one young philosopher, offer his life to pledge the return of his friend. After time appointed, the one man had not return but when Dionysius fixed all the security, the man returned. All people praised their loyalty, the power of friendship. They show meaning of friendship and self-sacrifice.

According to N.S. Gill "But I am speaking here of ordinary friendship; for among men who are ideally wise and perfect such situations cannot arise." At all kind of friendship even in a relationship, there are time that universe test your faith in your friendship. In friendship, no one or no body is such a perfect person to handle a perfect situation you can face in your life. But you can handle a situation to have a perfect relationship to your love ones. There are times you give up on what you have on your friendship because you think it's not worth enough in your life. Those trial can test your loyalty and how to hold your friendship.





I read an article "Undying Spirit of Friendship" by Aparna K.S. Its show the friendship of two warrior who became friends just a while they saw each other. On exhibition, where the princes demonstrate their skills and power, they taught that Arjuna is the best warrior that day. So Karna stood up and challenge Arjuna to see people how he compete and tough enough. So that on Duriyordan defend Karna, and he make him a king right away. He insisted to his father, King Dhritarashtra to make Karna to be a King of Anga. Karna overwhelmed what Duriyordan did to him so he asked how to repay it and he answered, "be my friend, for life". On the eventful day, was born a great friendship between Karna and Duriyordan.



According to Aparna K.S "we are bound by our own actions and all of us have some negative trait in us that we need to conquer." There are people who want friends by there side. Who can make their life more colorful to have them. There are things that you want to do but there are limitation on that. There are things that you seem right but sometimes didn't exist. In friendship, we accepted each other characteristic. Their are approval that can go with the negative trait in your life, but you need to conquer it. You need to think first before you have an action. Always think an option to do what you think. Especially in friendship, some people underestimate it. But if you have a friends, you will know what is the true friendship all about.


When i read those stuff about friendship in mythology, i learned that even in mythology you can have what you called a "friendship". Even it's not true, i'm so stunned to believe that. It's imagination however we can relate those stories in our life. I inspire when i was reading those article, because those stories is not common to our life. I think I want to have that in my life like Damon and Pythias, one of them sacrifice for one's happiness. I like to be loved and trusted by the people. Never fail the test of friendship.




Saturday, February 8, 2014

Blogspot5: Relationship

Relationships the condition or fact of being related; connection or association. Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. There's many relationship, it can be a mother-daughter, friends, girlfriend-boyfriends and many more. When you are in a relationship it need to know the word trust, love, acceptance and understanding. If you don't have that characteristic, I think your relationship will not work. Every relationships needs trust. It is your foundation to build your relation or connection to each other. Love, that will accept each other difference. Love is to pleasure one person. Acceptance, no matter how is she or how poor is she, you don't look the physical nor the kindness of person. Lastly, understanding is willingness to give your mind in what person is. Relationship is so hard to build but if you don't have a willingness to it, it will easily bring down your relationship.


I read an article entitled "Teens and Parents: A Battle of the Wills" by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann. In this article discussed how parents raise a teen daughter or son and how people survive the teen stage. Being a parent is not easy. Parent can share thoughts, comments, even support in her child. Don't forget to be responsible enough to teach the children for what is the best for them. Because parent is the best teacher for their child. Parent must be learn how to communicate with their children because sometimes they have a problem so parent can help to have a solution to it. Teen life is the best and fun part of our lives.  Some are rebellious but some are quiet enough to live standard. Teenager want to be independent enough to decide and choice without their parent.  Some have a lot of pressure from their friends. But it doesn't mean that you don't care anymore for you parents. Have time yo tour parents so you have a good relationship with them. Parents understand the toughest life of a teenager. Teenage life is a challenge to become and to be ready for the next chapter of life.


According to Raychelle Cassada Lohman "What is interesting about this age is that one day your teen may be telling you that you don't know what you're talking about and the next day your teen may be seeking out your advice. " Some teen is rebellious to their parent because sometime they didn't get that they want to have. Sometimes teen is not listening to their parent because they thought they are right than their parent. Don't underestimate the power of a parent. Mother knows best. Constantly they get mad at you because they always want what the best for their child. Time flies so fast. Don't let your parent out of your life, sooner or later you will need them. Always thank to your parent that they always there for you no matter what happen. Love them, respect them and always take care of them.


I found an article entitled "The girlfriend Instinct" by Debba Haupert. It's all about her girl friend, about a female friendship. In her story, she have a two girlfriends that have a cancer but they are survivor. She's so sorrowful what happened to her 2 two girlfriends. So she came to think why is girlfriends is so important. As women, we need to know what being girlfriend means. Once in a while we need to take a rest and think some friends. Sometime we miss opportunities to be involved in the world, to learn a new things and appreciate people around us. So the diagnoses of her two girlfriends, she recognize the true friendship and fill the time and memories together.

According to Debba Haupert "Too often it takes an illness or loss to hit us with reality, and appreciation of friendship." Some people don't recognize the true meaning of friendship. Learn how to appreciate friendship. Life is better together with your friends. Even though your personalities is completely difference from one another you'll will learn how to accept it. 



Trust, Love, Acceptance and Understanding. Isn't easy to have a relation in other people.  But it's easy to associate with it.I'm blessed to build my relationship with my friends, brother, parents, teacher and some other people. We need a time to appreciate them and treasure the moment with them. Life is to short. Love people around you so that you will be happier and healthier enough to face everyday with your precious people in your life.




Friday, February 7, 2014

Blogspot4: Science of Friendship



"If I had only one friend left, I want it to be you" lines from a song "One friend" by Dan Seal. I dedicating that song for my best friend. Whenever I heard that song I always remember my best friend.It's so amazing to have a best friend, right? I appreciate when she always here by my side. We always having fun and share problem to each other. We learn to face the reality of the world. My life is really so prismatic with my best friend. With her, I can take up new things and learn how to accept each other characteristics. She's the one who taught me how to appreciate little things in life and no matter what happen always pray to God. I learned so many things from her. Because of my best friend I'm stronger enough to face each and everyday. I met her when we I was a child, she's my neighborhood .Sometimes, I ask myself how people make friends for today change, can we able to stable our friendship through online networking site, and how can we mighty the communication we had the previous year without the technologies we have today in our lives. Is friendship is destine?



 I found an article entitled "Science May Explain Why Your Friendship Fall Apart" by Felix Reed.In this preceding year, our lives in this world invade by the new technologies. Felix Reed ask his self if the new technologies can improve one ability to support a circle of close friends. So he did  a experiments and some observation to make an answer in his question. And later on the answer appears to be no. By his observation, in our new technologies can't changes the strength of one's friendship. He described the Social Signature, it is to build the different social friendship. It has a pattern or a factor: time, have a finite amount of time to maintain the friendship; Emotional capital, requires to stable the emotions; and Cognitive Limitation, it's the human brain that are embedded in strongly interrelated In that factor describe that individuals social signature doesn't change over in time.


According to Felix Reed "The abundance and pervasiveness of new technological platforms and devices that can mediate social interactions would appear to suggest that we are not only finding new channels for communication, but that our social world is being enlarged and transformed." Our social world can be enlarged and transformed but in friendship it doesn't affect. By his observation, I realized that no matter how world be changed by the new technologies drive in to our life, friendship stay constantly. And never change the way we treat to our friends through the new technologies but our social communication can be enlarged for the help of it






I read an article entitled " The Science and Philosophy of Friendship: Lesson from Aristotle on the Art of Connecting" by Maria Popova. In this article, Aristotle give lesson that defined friendship in other matters. He stated the classification of friendship in three categories. First, friendship in pleasure, it is the direct pleasure brings in friendship. Second, friendship in utility, which you can gain benefit in a relationship. And last, friendship is virtue, it is the highest kind of friendship and you become a friends because of his virtue. We value friendship for social dimension and bring happiness in our entire life. He also stated in this article that friendship is such an instrument to our live to make it enrich.

According to some Scientist and Philosopher in this article that "friendship is an essential ingredient of human happiness". Life is morbid without friends around us. We know that all of us can't live without the companion of others. Yes, it is the essential ingredient to our life. They make us feel better to have a friend. Sometimes, friends can make ourselve improve as a person.It is our happiness when we are around our friends. They can cheer you up whenever you feel down in your sorrowful moment. Life we'll be meaningful with our friends.

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No matter how this earth has change. Yes, I think friendship is destine too. Because God gave everything for a reason. Reason why me met our friends in our life today. Friend are the  people who sustain us beyond our family. One who stand by us whether we are succeed or fail. Give you a meaningful life despite of the biggest problems your facing. The one who understand you no matter how little things you are weird of.Never fail to make you happy. Love you unconditionally no matter she knows all your negative sides and accept you with her whole life. Its so hard to find a person like that. Never underestimate friendship. In life, it would be mournful if you don't have a best friend. So I always thanking God that he gave me a friend that what i have right now. I promise to myself that i will never let them go in my life.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Blog 2: INSPIRATION



"Inspiration is the act or power of exercising an elevating or stimulating influence upon the which quickens and or stimulates; as, the inspiration of occasion, of art, etc."  Inspiration can be a person, things or even
 a dream can be. It can improve the meaning of life and to uplift our souls. I made everyone my inspiration because I treasure all people and things in my life. My number 1 inspiration is God, who created us and all creatures in this world. Who always here for me and forgive me even I have so many beastly things I made. Second, is my family of course, they always here for me no matter how huge my trouble is and love me unconditionally. And lastly is my friends, who accepted me and always take care of me. I can't leave without them, it's so frightening to live my life without them in my life. They are my strength in my weaknesses in my life. They always inspire me to make to make goal for myself. It's so huge success if they are always in your heart no matter what happen. 


I read an article entitled "LIFE" by Kristen Killgore. She believes that everything in life is a lesson. Everything can inspire us and to have an opportunity to get some lesson from everything. Choice is easy but sometimes it's hard enough to make it. In this article can inspire people and to realize things that they may forgotten at times. In life inspiration is the biggest aspects, it can help you to encourage one's blemish things and allow you to accept what's to accept.

 According to Kristen Killgore "No one's life is perfect and no one turns out exactly the way they wanted or expected, but life shouldn't be a burden or something that you dread.Sometimes people don't realize they can make inspire other around them. You can make an inspiration to everybody else, no one is perfect though you can make their life completely. Don't let your fear knock you down, always hold your inspiration to get your feet up and reach the top. Bear up always so you can boost your self to do better in life. Try not to expect because it can neglect your feelings sometimes. Love your life as you love people around you and inspire people as people inspire you.




I found an article entitled "Refuse to be defeated" by Howard Nevin. He stated what happened with his life facing so many  problems. He battled three types of cancer and had a four surgeries. His wife was in horrible car accident. And he lost two family member and a closest friend. He asked himself, "what motivates me
?". It's a simple question, how he will face the problem? He look up God and hold his hand to God with his strongest faith.God inspire him to never give up even there's so many reason. God gave us challenges to make our self stronger not to make our self more weakness. Sometime you think why so many problem in your life, it can make you a better person. Have an inspiration, so it can help you to look towards you huge problems.


According to Howard Nevin "God lets me awaken to face each new day, some positive and some with their challenges, some mixed." Never let anyone ruin your day, face it with your smile in your face and try to brighten your whole world. God is always here for you and for us even though sometimes we forget to pray or we forget him sometimes. Be optimistic as soon as possible so you can look forward for the challenges will be given to you sooner or later. No matter how hard your problem is, remember God is always there to cheer you up. You can talk to him before you sleep, to get out the stress encountered. Inspire You, Inspired by God =)



For living 17 years.. God never fail to make me stronger and stronger everyday. Because of Him I always stay optimistic in my life even though i can see him, i can always feel his presence. Never listen for what others saying. For my Family and my friends.. i love you all =) Thank you for being part of my life until now. Without my inspiration, i would not be motivated to do things i have done. All of them continues to inspire me to do marvelous things in my life. I think, i wouldn't be the person I am today without all of them in my life. Stay with me, inspire me and love me.